S is for Snakes and Stress

The python was as long as two men

It had destroyed people, property and caused a reign of fear. Although it was ‘only’ a dream, it was in the horror genre, and this meant that I should be terrified. But instead of being scared, I was fully aware, both of the fact that I was dreaming, and of the imminent supposed danger coming right at me.  After swallowing my mentor, the snake was headed for me.

Normally, I would be running away

My legs would feel like I was wading through molasses, I would beg for help from loved ones, but eventually be left alone to try to outrun the threat. And then I’d awaken, troubled, with the problem unresolved.

This dream was different. The snake and the scenario – a beach, scattered with big pieces of furniture, some people, some casualties – all seemed realistic enough, and yet, I was able to discern that this situation was not one I wanted to deal with in the usual way.

I fervently dislike the horror genre. I won’t usually watch it (it scares me!) and it feels ridiculous in many ways. Sometimes I’ll indulge in a light thriller such as Jurassic Park, happy to know that the hero will probably survive in the end. Something about me is extremely optimistic and I don’t like it when movies reflect the darker sides of life. I work hard enough in daily life to repute those.

This time, I didn't run

Instead, I stood my ground and faced the snake, with the knowledge that I wouldn’t die, since this was a dream, after all. It slowly emerged from the ground below me, first as an outline, like a 3D print of a snake, and then its head emerged to face me, forked tongue licking the air. In all its evil glory, the entire python was soon revealed to me. Strangely, I wasn’t even afraid.

My strategy was rational – I would strangle the strangler. I put my fingers into its throat, between the sharp fangs, and another hand on its nostrils, so it could not breathe. It struggled but I held fast. I knew the fangs had no poison, I knew it was a dream; I knew I would survive.

For a change, I awoke empowered. 

The danger was gone. I had killed the snake. I hadn’t run.

For me, the next part is the challenge and the opportunity. What does the snake symbolize? If this were your dream, what would it symbolize for you?

• Freud would surely say that’s it’s a sexual symbol. As I’m going through my menopause, I could wonder if the dream had to do with killing my desire? If so, would that really be a good thing? I wonder.

• Burnout - Or does the snake symbolize something much stronger – to me? All the forces that can psychologically force any man or woman to their knees – stress from too much work, for example? Even some young colleagues of mine have succumbed to the stress of our too-busy work lives. It’s a real fear, and one I work hard to avoid, while realizing that it’s right in front of me, ready to attack at any moment.

• Worry - The snake could also be the fears we have about our lives, sometimes even over-worrying about what people might think of us. 

We had invited visitors over for dinner. People I’d never met before - and that can be stressful – the shopping needed to be done, food marinated, baked, cooked, spiced just right; there should be enough food. The house, in its somewhat chaotic state, could be tidied, the counters in the kitchen, always overfull, could be relieved of their burdens. There were four people in the house and everyone but me seemed initially to have a different plan for the late afternoon. Nothing to do with being my sous chef, house tidying-upper or personal assistant.

• Existential Angst - I also worry about my future, if I am doing it all right, if my life is meaningful enough. Sometimes too much self-reflection is unwarranted here too. There’s a lot to say for being mindful, in the moment, and living gratefully and consciously day by day. I’m sure there is a greater good and I, for one, strive for that. But too much striving and too little looking at the beach and the sunset – (instead of worrying about the snake) - feeling the warm wind in your hair, is really not a clever idea. My son put it nicely – “The more I become intellectually philosophical – the more I wonder how happy I can be.”

Yesterday, in the midst of the stress, I stepped back for a few moments from all that worry, angst and self reflection and even relished the freezing feeling of my bare hands on the bicycle handlebars as I biked the few minutes home last night, from a last quick supermarket visit, aware of the hail and the wet snow but knowing that I could bear it. Opening the lock with my frozen fingers was not easy, but I did manage, and my new winter coat had kept me warm and dry. I also decided not to worry whether my house was perfect enough. I felt alive and aware and coping. 

I had a busy day yesterday, but I didn’t give up and didn’t run away. I accepted help and sometimes even required it, from my family; I kept calm but focused - and in the end, fully enjoyed my evening.  The new people were delightful, the food turned out well and I enjoyed the feeling that my family had been there to help out and make it all happen. I didn’t let the stress get the best of me.

The bottom line: I get stressed too easily – so, when I feel the snake looming nearby, I need to stop, assess the danger, get the help I need and take action.